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Margaret’s Party

Betsy adores her younger sister, Margaret, but does not really spend much time with her. Margaret is six years younger, quiet and reserved, and tends to keep to herself, preferring the company of her dog, Abie, and her cat, Washington, to a circle of friends like Betsy’s. When Margaret asks Betsy to help her throw a birthday party for the animals, Betsy is delighted to be asked, and Margaret is thrilled that Betsy has agreed.

They decide to hold the party on the Thursday in February between Abrahan Lincoln’s and George Washington’s (the animals’ namesakes) birthdays. Betsy plans decorations and a feast. But then she mostly puts the party out of her mind. When Thursday arrives, she is late coming home, having stopped at Heinz’s after school with Tib, Cab, and Dennie. When she arrives, the house is dark and somber, and Margaret can not be immediately located.

Betsy finds Margaret sobbing in her room. She had begun the party festivities without Betsy, and had attempted to light the gas stove herself. It exploded, burning and curling Margaret’s eyelashes. Luckily, her vision seems unimpaired. Lighting a gas stove of that era was a manual process, one that could be quite dangerous, especially for a ten-year-old girl.

Betsy prepares dinner and bakes a cake for Abie and Washington, but is shaken, “her conscience aching” (p. 189, Harper Trophy paperback edition, 1994). She had intended to step into Julia’s shoes, once Julia left for college, and be the exemplary older sister. She realizes that she has failed, and that Margaret could have paid the price with her vision. On her knees, she promises God that she will never neglect Margaret again.

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On the gas stoves of the early 1900s, see: https://evolutionhomeappliances.weebly.com/kitchen-stoves-1900-1919-steel-gas–electricity.html, especially the units at the bottom of the page

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Betsy, Tony, and Joe – Senior Year

Betsy is thrilled to discover that Joe wants to correspond with her during the summer prior to their senior year in high school. He is working for the Minneapolis Tribune and his coolness toward Betsy seems to have vanished. Soon they are writing to one another regularly, with Betsy sealing her letters with scented sealing wax and saving Joe’s letters and newspaper clippings in a cigar box. Betsy begins to cautiously assume that they will go together this year. Finally!

Joe visits Betsy immediately upon his return to Deep Valley. He is warmly welcomed by the Rays, all of whom notice the spark between Betsy and Joe. The good vibes continue when school starts, and in a surprising moment, Tony nominates Joe for class president. When he wins, Joe begins to participate in the social side of school — Betsy’s world — for the first time.

Like Joe, Tony’s feelings for Betsy have also intensified this year. Betsy finds herself being wooed romantically by both of them. Worried about Tony’s wild streak and unwilling to cut him loose, but possessing romantic feelings only for Joe, she tries to divide her time between the two of them. This works, for a while. The boys do their best to treat Betsy and one another with respect. But when Betsy agrees to go with Tony to the elegant, formal New Year’s Eve dance at the Moorish Cafe, Joe loses patience with the situation and informs Betsy that “all bets are off” (p. 149, Harper Trophy paperback edition, 1996).

In the early 1900s, women did not have as many romantic options as they have today. It would have been frowned upon — really almost unthinkable — to ask a man out, or even to hint too strongly for an invitation. So while Betsy could have handled the Joe vs. Tony situation better (as Julia informs her later in the book), she did not have much decision-making power. As women made gains in the workplace throughout the century, their romantic power increased as well. While pay equity and equality are still not a fact of life in the digital age, women certainly have more social capital than in 1910, and can control their own destiny to a greater extent.

Betsy and Joe reconnect when she stops by Willard’s Emporium in Butternut Center following a spring sojourn to the Beidwinkles’ farm. In a neat bookend to their first meeting at the beginning of Heaven to Betsy, Betsy strides into the general store to buy gifts for her family, and as she confidently engages Joe in conversation, his steely demeanor melts. They share a picnic lunch, Betsy meets Joe’s Uncle Alvin and Aunt Ruth, and when Joe brings her back to the Beidwinkles’, he is invited to a party they are having that night at which Betsy will play the organ and sing. Their joy is palpable, and remains such when they return to school.

Following Betsy’s rejection of his romantic overtures, and insistence that they are better suited as sibling-like friends, Tony leaves Deep Valley abruptly, worrying everybody. It turns out that he has gone to New York to try his hand as a stage actor, with Mrs. Poppy’s help and connections. Meanwhile, Betsy and Joe finally become a bona fide couple, deliriously happy.

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For more on dating and romance in Betsy’s era, see: Beth L. Bailey. 1989. From Front Porch to Back Seat: Courtship in Twentieth-Century America. Johns Hopkins University Press. https://www.amazon.com/Front-Porch-Back-Seat-Twentieth-Century/dp/0801839351

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Mr. Kerr Falls For Tacy

In Betsy and Joe, Tib and Betsy begin to worry about Tacy’s marital prospects. She has never exalted over the boys at school. She is uninterested in adopting the latest hairstyles, preferring coronet braids, and refuses to adopt a beauty routine. She is content considering boys to be good friends, even longtime friend Tom Slade, who seems to be interested in her.

One day, Mr. Ray starts telling stories about a salesman who has talked him into stocking a line of knitwear at Ray’s Shoe Store. He claims that this salesman, Mr. Kerr, can talk anyone into anything. Apparently, Mr. Kerr is a quite an impressive man, and Bob Ray wants him to meet the family, so he invites him to Sunday night lunch at the Ray house.

When Mr. Kerr arrives, he seems quite old to Betsy and the Crowd. It turns out that he is 27, 9 to 10 years older than Betsy and her friends. This might otherwise be immaterial, except that he takes an immediate liking to Tacy. Tacy and Mr. Kerr spend the party deep in conversation and give one another their exclusive, undivided attention all night. Betsy immediately notices that Tacy does not seem her usual bashful self. She is animated, relaxed, comfortable.

What does this mean? Does Tacy consider him a father figure? Apparently not. Tacy refers to him as Harry…and on the way out, Harry informs Mr. Ray that he intends to marry Tacy. He steals the prettiest picture of Tacy from Betsy’s photo album, and it occurs to Betsy that something serious could be brewing.

Newly turned 18, Tacy will be the unlikely first girl in the Crowd to establish a romantic connection so serious that marriage is implicated. In 1910, the median age of first marriage was 21.6 for women and 25.1 for men. It dropped steadily until the early 1950s, and then rose to the 2025 levels of 28.6 for women and 30.2 for men. These changes were driven by cultural shifts: women’s relative independence and viability in the workplace, financial considerations, the acceptability of living together in nonmarital configurations.

Mr. Ray warns that if Mr. Kerr can talk him into selling knitwear in his shoe store, he will surely get his way and marry Tacy. Sure enough, Harry Kerr is a presence at Commencement and all the important events to come in Tacy’s life, and they do indeed marry, build a life together, and have children. His support for her is genuine and generous, represented by armfuls of flowers and special attention throughout the important senior year events, and he brings out a new confidence and maturity in Tacy.

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On age of first marriage historically, see: https://www.gilderlehrman.org/history-resources/teacher-resources/statistics-changing-lives-american-women

On the cultural context for age of first marriage, see:

https://www.brides.com/average-age-of-marriage-in-the-us-11709847
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Betsy’s College Experiment

Betsy enrolls at the University of Minnesota in 1910. Interestingly, it was not that uncommon for women to enroll in college at that time. Men and women of that era went to college in roughly equal numbers. Male enrollments reached a high point in the late 1940s, as GIs returned from World War II. Overall enrollment numbers continued to rise to the current day, and as increasing numbers of young women began to expect to participate in the workforce, female enrollments began to outpace male enrollments.

In her freshman year, Betsy suffers a serious attack of appendicitis, and spends much of that year in California, recuperating at her grandmother’s home. She does lots of writing and her stories begin to sell. “I found myself out there,” Betsy later decides (p. 15, Harper Trophy paperback edition, 1996). But she misses out on almost an entire year of college, and when she returns to the U the next year, she is still considered a freshman.

Officially a freshman, while Joe and her other friends are sophomores, the year goes by quickly. Betsy is writing for the school magazine and serving as Women’s Editor of the school newspaper. One of her stories seems especially good, and one of the college’s more famous and well known professors writes her a letter of encouragement. Betsy’s interest in math and science, never strong, suffers as her writing improves.

The next year, Joe receives a scholarship and transfers to Harvard, and Betsy loses interest in academics altogether. She also begins a relationship with fellow student Bob Barhydt, which begins as an innocent flirtation but becomes somewhat more exclusive, as several photos in the school yearbook document. Joe sees these pictures, and his letters to Betsy grow “cold as ice” (p. 17, Harper Trophy paperback edition, 1996). Joe spends no time with Betsy that summer. It seems his love is now ice cold as well.

Betsy’s father sees Betsy’s unhappiness and how little she is getting out of college. He and Betsy have a frank talk in which he expresses to her that while he generally advises that a person finish what they start, it is also good to know when to make a break from something that isn’t working, and go in a different direction. He is talking about education, not Joe, but for Betsy, his words may represent an opportunity to heal her heart.

There are many paths to education, Mr. Ray declares. He presents Betsy with a breathtaking offer: she could drop out of school and take a trip overseas similar to the one that Julia had taken. It would be a broadening experience for a writer, he says. Betsy, who has always wanted to travel (although with Tacy — who is now married and unavailable!), is gratified. She agrees to go, accompanied, initially, by professor friends of Mr. Ray’s brother, who are brother and sister. Betsy suggests that she spend significant periods of time in just a few cities, rather than traveling around constantly. It would be good experience, she thinks, for a writer to become deeply immersed in a few new cultures.

As the plan takes shape, Betsy’s time in college comes to an end, and her venture into the Great World begins.

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On gendered college enrollment trends, see: https://eml.berkeley.edu/~saez/course131/gkk_jep.pdf

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Crossing the Atlantic

Betsy leaves for Europe on the ocean liner S.S. Columbic, which will take her and her traveling companions, the Wilsons, to Genoa, where she will transfer to Munich. Immediately she becomes homesick and heartsick, for she catches a glimpse of Joe covering the ship’s departure for the newspaper, though they do not cross paths. She will be reminded of Joe constantly on her travels; it is obvious that she is still very much in love with him.

Betsy disguises her sadness as seasickness and spends a day or so in her cabin, in bed, miserable. But soon her instinct for companionship and adventure beckons, and she avails herself of ship events (dinners, dances, strolls on deck) and excursions (Madeira, the Azores, Algiers). Before long she has met Taylor and Rosa, actual ladies’ maids, like the ones she has written about; the ebullient Mr. O’Farrell, who looks like her favorite singer Chauncey Olcott; a great new friend from Toronto named Maida; and the famous author Mrs. Main-Whittaker.

The early 1900s represented a kind of golden age of translatlantic ocean travel. Ocean liners were spacious, loaded with amenities, and could accommodate over 1,000 travelers. Most trips overseas took a little less than a week. By the 1950s, ocean liners became rare due to the rise of air travel, and the now super-popular cruise ship industry was born.

Dinner conversations on the ocean liner range from art to music to a women’s right to vote. Mr. O’Farrell is shocked that sweet Betsy considers herself a suffragette. “We’re having a suffrage parade in Minneapolis this spring,” she says. “I’d be marching if I were there.”

“But you’re not a militant?” O’Farrell responds. Betsy isn’t sure that she would characterize herself such. But she knows that she would never back down when presented with such a challenge as voting rights. “I would be if I had to be,” she declares (p. 73, Harper Trophy paperback edition, 1996).

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On the ocean liner as a primary means of transportation, see: https://transportgeography.org/contents/chapter1/emergence-of-mechanized-transportation-systems/liner-transatlantic-crossing-time/

For an interesting depiction of life on a translatlantic ocean liner in Betsy’s era, see: https://www.ggarchives.com/OceanTravel/TravelGuide/31-WhatToExpectOnYourVoyage.html

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Proposal, Engagement, Wedding, Honeymoon

The S.S. Richmond sails into New York City’s inner harbor in September of 1917, signaling the end of Betsy’s travels abroad, and Joe is there to meet her. They reunite ecstatically, rushing into one another’s arms, and their future is immediately sealed, all past slights forgotten. They spend the day touring the city and buying a wedding ring at Tiffany’s, and Joe proposes in a small Greenwich Village restaurant. “Love me always, Betsy!” he cries. “I have given my whole heart to you” (p. 23, Harper Trophy paperback edition, 1996).

Joe quits his job in Boston and packs up his life to return to Minneapolis, for Betsy does not want to leave her family so soon after a year away. He returns within a week, expecting to find a job at one of the city newspapers, but without one immediately available, takes a position working for the Hawthorne Publicity Bureau. He asks Mr. Ray for Betsy’s hand in marriage, and it is decided that Betsy and Joe will marry the very next day, which will give them three days for a honeymoon before Joe starts his new job that Monday.

A small home wedding is hastily arranged, complete with a store-bought dress for Betsy, a cake homemade by Anna, and a bridal bouquet of pink roses and blue forget-me-nots. Small home weddings were common in 1917, usually held in the afternoon, followed by refreshments, as with this wedding. The dress was often simple and flowing, and the wedding ring was often a simple gold band, just like Betsy’s. In the modern era, weddings are likely to be customized to reflect the tastes and budget of the bride and groom and their families, with a wide range of ways to celebrate, including destination weddings, avant-garde gatherings, elopements, and commitment ceremonies that do not constitute an official wedding.

After so many years of loving him (p. 57, Harper Trophy paperback edition, 1996), Betsy and Joe are married in front of the Ray fireplace. Tacy and Harry Kerr, who have married and are expecting a baby, loan Betsy and Joe their cottage on Lake Minnetonka for a honeymoon, and Betsy and Joe spend a few idyllic days planning their life. It’s a simple but perfect beginning to what will be a rewarding but challenging first year of marriage.

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For more on weddings in Betsy’s era, see: https://bungalowclub.org/newsletter/spring-2019/now-join-hands/

For more on modern weddings, see https://www.courtly.com/resources/wedding-ettiquette

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Betsy and Joe’s Marriage

Betsy and Joe find an apartment and settle into it and into their marriage. Betsy makes a list of rules for married life for herself centered mostly around being a good wife, housekeeper, and cook, which she expects to be her greatest challenge, and one that she approaches with grit and determination. Maintaining house and home was the responsibility of women back then, and while women have more freedom today, to some extent the expectations underlying those norms remain. Total gender equality has certainly not been reached, nor has pay equity. But a true partnership is more possible today, as are same-sex marriages, in which household labor is not divided by gender.

Still, Betsy and Joe approach their marriage as a partnership, which, for that era, it was. He supports her writing and helps her make time for it. He is attentive to her needs and feelings. They treat one another with care and respect. While their sex life is only implied, it is obvious that they find one another highly attractive and sexy, and that Joe is especially fond of the pink silk lingerie that he periodically asks her to put on.

Their easy work-leisure routine is interrupted by the request of Joe’s Aunt Ruth to come live with them. They decide to buy a house so as to have the space to accommodate her. While Betsy is initially unhappy and worried that a new arrival (that isn’t a baby) would be disruptive to their lives, she comes to love Aunt Ruth and accept her presence in their home.

Joe takes a job working late night hours at the paper for more money, and finds himself struggling with the work and with his colleagues. He is increasingly moody and sometimes shuts himself off from Betsy. But they continue to support one another’s wellbeing, hopes, and dreams, and their love deepens.

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On women’s rights and marriage, see: https://www.law.georgetown.edu/georgetown-law-journal/in-print/volume-108/nineteenth-amendment-edition/reconstructing-liberty-equality-and-marriage-the-missing-nineteenth-amendment-argument/#:~:text=The%20social%20movement%20that%20led,as%20to%20women%20as%20citizens.